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by Casey Braithwaite
Event Manager
I was a sophomore in high school when my dad died. After that, I kind of dropped out of life. It was hard to feel anything or care about anything except the things Dad had loved, like hunting, fishing, and working out. One of the things I admired about Dad was how strong he was, physically and in every way. I decided that one day I wanted to get into bodybuilding and learn the kind of discipline that he’d had. But mentally and emotionally, I wasn’t there yet.
After high school, I went through years of anxiety, trauma, depression, and guilt. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the anchor I had working at Culinary Crafts, I could have drifted away and lost myself completely. A few times, I almost did. Some days I couldn’t get myself to the gym, but at least I could go out and work an event, and that gave my days some kind of structure and meaning. I struggled to stay around for the people in my life, especially my daughter, and that gave me a reason to keep trying.
“Big Man”
On days when I made it to the gym, I watched other lifters carefully. Some of them were jerks, of course, but others were “big men” like my dad who showed incredible dedication, discipline, and strength. Sometimes I would ask them about their routines and progress, and as I chatted with them, I swear I felt closer to Dad.
Finally, in 2019, my time came. I had a year of sobriety behind me and was feeling pretty good about the relationship I was building with my daughter. Also, I’d started working a second job at Bucked Up, a local fitness and exercise company, where I met a mentor who was willing to coach me in my body-building quest. My goal was to compete in a major pro qualifying event, but also, I just wanted to give it my best try.
The Power of Selfcare
Over the next four and a half months, I put myself on an intense routine of diet, weightlifting, and selfcare. For one hour every day I would hyperfocus on myself—not on my past or my problems or failings, but on taking care of myself in that moment, doing right by me. I challenged myself over and over, every day, until it became as easy as any other routine. I never used any steroids; I just followed a super-strict diet that included a daily bowl of oatmeal. As I watched myself changing physically in the pictures I took, I could also see other big changes in my life.
I did compete in the competition, and I’m proud of what I did for my daughter, my dad, all the people who love and care about me, and for myself. The intense level of commitment needed for competitive bodybuilding isn’t something I could keep up forever, but I will always keep the feelings of confidence, purpose, and self-control I gained. And, for the rest of my life, I will always enjoy a warm bowl of oatmeal!
Homemade Oatmeal
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Ingredients
- 1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
- 1 cup water
- 1 cup milk
- ⅛ tsp salt
- ½ tsp ground cinnamon
- 1 tsp honey
- toppings (honey, peanut butter, berries, bananas, etc. I love blueberries!)
Instructions
- In a saucepan, combine oats, milk, water, salt, and cinnamon. Bring to a boil, then turn heat down to low.
- Simmer uncovered, stirring occasionally, for four minutes or until the oats reach the thickness you like.
- Divide cooked oatmeal into bowls and drizzle with honey. Add any toppings you want. If I use different toppings and arrange them in different places in the bowl, it feels more satisfying to eat, like I have more variety. It’s just a mind trick, but it works for me.
Photos of Casey courtesy of Logan Walker.
