How Much Can I DIY My Wedding?

by Meagan Crafts-Price

Photo credit: Jacque Lynn Photography

I confess, I am a bona fide DIY maniac. Whenever I come across an adorable Pinterest idea, my first thoughts are “How can I do that myself?” and “How can I make it even cuter?”

So, years ago when I got engaged, no one was surprised that I wanted to DIY my wedding as much as humanly possible. From the aspen tree archway that framed our wedding pictures to the monogrammed aged-wood nametags, I did it all. I made custom wood benches, passing trays, flower vases, wreaths, bubble wands, and food elevations. I made picnic baskets and trays of homemade candies. I DIYed our invitations, thank you cards, guest books, ring pillow, signage, and schedules. I made the bridesmaids’ earrings and the pearl-studded picture frames. I cut bottles to make candle covers. I DIYed Clayton’s French cuff shirt. And yes, for our reception, I did my own hair and make-up.

That experience taught me some important lessons about when a wedding should, and should not, be DIYed. Some of the projects I undertook for my wedding led to memories I’ll treasure forever, but others were mistakes I ended up regretting. It’s easy to get caught up in squeezing adorable ideas into every inch of your wedding day, but if you’re not deliberate about it, you can create too much stress for yourself and others. Worse, you can prevent yourself from fully enjoying your special day and the meaningful moments you’re there to celebrate.

On the other hand, if you do it right, DIYing parts of your wedding can add a personal touch that only you can bring. But how do you know which projects you should take on yourself and what you should leave to others? Over the years, I’ve discussed that question with countless brides that we’ve helped here at Culinary Crafts, and now I’d like to share some insights with you.

Photo credit: Jacque Lynn Photography

Should I DIY My Wedding?

The answer, for you, depends on your particular circumstances, budget, and goals, but if you’re considering DIYing your own wedding, here are the questions to ask:

1. Will it interfere with the wedding day experience?

Your wedding should be a magical, wonderful day for you and those you love, so don’t let your DIY plans get in the way of the experience.

You do not want to find yourself scrambling to assemble thirty centerpieces or frosting 100 cupcakes on the morning of your big day. And, at the end of the festivities that evening, if you have to stay and help clean up instead of disappearing into the night with your beloved, you’ll be kicking yourself. So here’s what I suggest to brides: if a DIY project can’t be finished at least a day or two before your celebration, it’s too risky to take it on yourself. Let someone else handle that task. Restrict yourself to projects that you’ll have finished well in advance. You’ll be glad you did.

2. Is it something I’d love to do?

For DIY zealots like me, the time we put into making our own place cards or hanging lanterns isn’t a chore; it’s part of the fun!

If there are things you or your friend or family member would genuinely enjoy handling for your wedding, then go for it…provided it meets the other criteria in this list.

The thing is, if you’re real reason for DIYing your wedding it to save money, I suggest thinking again. Like a DIY home renovation, a DIY wedding project is going to be more complicated and time-consuming than you imagine, and it often ends up costing far more than you expect. Craft supplies, materials, and printing add up fast. Plus, unless you have some serious DIY skills and experience, it often ends up looking like it was DIY. In the end, if a DIY wedding project isn’t a labor of love, it’s probably best left to a professional.

3. Is it meaningful to me?

Perhaps the best reason to DIY part of your wedding is to create something that has special meaning to you and your fiancé.

Little personal touches like handwritten signage or individualized guest bags can feel more authentic and intimate when you make them yourself. Guests often feel a stronger connection when they see something that clearly came from you. Plus, involving loved ones in DIY projects can create meaningful memories such as when friends gather for a décor-making night or a family member shares their “family famous” recipe for the dessert table. When you stick to things that are meaningful to you, DIY lets you infuse your story, style, and creativity into the day.

4. Is it something I want to keep?

As beautiful as your chosen rentals can be, they go home with the rental company at the end of the night. If there’s something you want to treasure as a keepsake from your wedding, that may be something you’ll want to DIY. Ask yourself, “Is it enough to have it captured forever in our wedding photos, or will I want to have it to hold?”

Photo credit: Natalie Watson

5. Have I done it before?

Your wedding day is not the time to test your hand at a new recipe or to have your brother DJ a large event for the first time. Whatever parts of your wedding you decide to do, make sure you’ve practiced it plenty of times beforehand under “real world conditions.”

6. When should I start to DIY my wedding?

Don’t start DYIing any part of your wedding until you have a pretty good idea of your overall vision. I sometimes see brides who get so excited about an idea that they start DIYing it years in advance of their big day. Remember: things change. Trends come and go. Your own tastes evolve. A project you may adore right now might not seem right to you in a couple of years, or you may discover that your fiancé hates it. Don’t waste effort and money on ideas you’ll end up discarding.

Once you have a clear vision for your DIY wedding plans, set mini-deadlines for yourself (e.g. invitations finished by X date, party favors by Y date) to make sure you have everything done in plenty of time.

7. Does it have to be all-or-nothing?

No one says you have to take on any more—or any less—of your wedding DIY than you know you can handle. Avoid high-pressure, time-sensitive jobs like catering, photography, or day-of coordination, but feel free to take on whatever other projects you feel inspired to do. Delegate or hire professionals to do the rest. For example, if you really want to make your signature chocolates and caramels, like I did, go right ahead and fly your flag! But have your caterer take care of the presentation and clean up.

Photo credit: Jacque Lynn Photography

8. Should I DIY my wedding cake?

This depends on the size of your guest list, your level of expertise, and what kind of cake you have in mind.

Cakes are one of those areas where you can easily get in over your head if you don’t know what you’re doing, and the results can really be disastrous. If you’re planning to entertain a small crowd of 30-50 people, a homemade cake may be feasible, but as the guest list grows, the complications grow exponentially. Tall, multi-layer cakes are especially problematic since they present challenges that even experienced bakers don’t deal with until they’ve specifically done that kind of cake before.

Cakes are typically baked, iced, and decorated days or even weeks beforehand, assembled the day before, then transported on the day of the event. Transporting a wedding cake for your big day can be the biggest hassle and has a high chance of failure. My advice: regardless of whether you make your cake or have someone else do it, do not plan on transporting it yourself. In fact, don’t even touch the cake on the big day until you cut it. If you can pay a pro to transport it and set it up for you, pay the extra fee! I promise you, it’s worth it.

The workaround that my husband and I found was to have several single- or double-layer cakes, all beautifully coordinated in color and theme, but easy to make, transport, set up, and serve.

Photo credit: Jacque Lynn Photography

9. Should I DIY my wedding favors?

Favors are a nice touch and lend themselves to DIY. If you want your guests to leave with something cute, choose favors that are within your skillset to make, something that shouts you and your fiancé. Just be sure you have them done at least a week in advance, preferably sooner.

• Ideas: Homemade candles, jam, cookies, spice blends, seed packets, mini succulents, personalized coasters, handmade ornaments, handmade bookmarks, mix playlists, DIY scratch-off lottery cards.

10. Should I DIY my wedding décor?

Décor is another area where a committed DIYer can feel confident handling all or part of the job. Form a clear plan before you begin and hold yourself to a schedule that allows you plenty of time, even if you have to start over a time or two.

• Ideas: Centerpieces, table runners, signage, photo displays, paper garlands, arches, petal cones, aisle markers, paper lanterns, memory wall, alternative guestbook.

Photo credit: Angela Howard

11. Should I DIY my wedding invitations & stationery?

Similarly, invitations and stationery are great for wedding DIYers. Whatever your strengths are (design, calligraphy, software editing, painting, embossing, printing, addressing, stuffing envelopes, etc.), play to your strengths. Don’t be afraid to bring in help for whatever parts of the job don’t excite you.

• Ideas: Save-the-dates, menus, programs, place cards, thank-you notes, table numbers, invitations, envelope liners.

12. Should I DIY my wedding furnishings and set up?

In most cases, no, you shouldn’t handle either furnishings or set up (or take down). A professional rental company is almost always going to be able to do a better job at providing the perfect tables, chairs, linens, plates, flatware, etc., and they’ll have enough of everything; it will match and be exactly what you want, and it will cost you less. Plus, they will handle set up and clean up, which is invaluable. As a luxury catering company, we often see couples underestimate the time it takes to set up or flip a room for 100 guests or more. Unless you’ve got a small army of family and friends who are happy to spend several hours of your special day working for you—and they happen to have the expertise to handle the job—we strongly recommend hiring pros to take care of this part of your wedding.

Photo credit: Celia Harvard

13. Should I DIY my wedding food?

For many couples, working with a caterer to create their ideal menu is as involved as they need to be with the food. On the day of the wedding, they don’t need to worry; the menu they planned will be prepared, served, and cleaned up exactly as they envisioned it. But peace of mind about the food is only one of the reasons why it’s a good idea to hire a full-service caterer.

We should take a moment here to distinguish full-service catering from food catering, which is having a restaurant drop off large quantities of food at your wedding. A full-service caterer like Culinary Crafts “caters” to your needs, meaning that we do whatever it takes to make you and your guests feel cared for. Beyond the food and service, we are there to fix faulty plumbing, clean up spills, repair a torn dress, flip a room, adjust for inclement weather, or do whatever is necessary to make your wedding day a success. Your caterers are generally the largest team you have onsite, so it makes sense to have them do the jobs you don’t want to foist on your family and friends who are there to share the day with you.

For all those reasons, it’s a good idea to hire a full-time caterer instead of DIYing your food. However, if you or someone in your party really wants to contribute their famous chocolate truffles or Grandma’s chicken cacciatore to the celebration, there are ways to make that work. Communicate with your caterer about what you want. Give them the recipe and they can probably find a safe and practical way to make it happen.

14. Should I DIY my wedding music?

If you have a friend who’s dying to handle your music for you, there can be some upsides to DIYing this part of your wedding.

First of all, the savings with free music can be substantial. If your “Free-J” is willing to work with you beforehand, you can have full control to choose the songs that mean the most to you, thus maximizing how much the music portrays you as a couple and avoiding any cringe tracks. You won’t have to worry about a cheesy or overly talkative DJ, and you can tailor different playlists for the pre-ceremony, processional, cocktail hour, dinner, dancing, and last song.

On the other hand, without a professional DJ you’ll need a friend or coordinator to step up and emcee, making announcements like introductions, first dance, and cake cutting. Also, a good DJ or band can “read the room” and adjust to keep people dancing and excited. A DJ/band can also handle “Play this now!” demands from you or your guests whereas with a static playlist, you get what you get.

Of course, you can choose the best of both. You can have a band or DJ handle music duties for part of your event while passing the mic off to your “Free-J” for the rest of the time. If you do decide to DIY your music (either for the whole event or just for certain parts), be sure that your chosen music person knows what they’re doing. Your wedding is not the place for them to be figuring out how to set up the equipment, make the speakers and mics work in your venue space, manage the volume, or troubleshoot.

Photo credit: India Earl Photography

15. Should I DIY my wedding photography/videography/content creation?

DIY attempts in this area tend to be either tragedies or triumphs; nothing in between. Either your photographer/videographer/content creator lands those images that will preserve your memories through the years, or they are lost forever. That’s why this category is definitely worth hiring a pro to handle.

That said, there may still be ways to get your amateur photographer guests involved. Making Polaroid or disposable cameras available for guests to use can be a fun way to let them participate in making and preserving memories while your hired professionals make sure that you get the essential shots.

Photo credit: Kiana Bates

16. Should I DIY my wedding dress, alterations, veil, or accessories?

When does it make sense to DIY your dress?

• When you or the person willing to do it for you is highly experienced and has a track record of making complex garments.
• When you want something truly unique, sentimental, or symbolic.
• When you have plenty of time (ideally a year or more) to design, test, and perfect.
• When you’re open to trial and error, possibly making a muslin/test version first.
• When you’re okay with enlisting professional backup for tricky steps like tailoring, boning, or alterations.

As far as your veil, jewelry, or other accessories, they are great candidates for an ambitious DIYer. What better way to express your personality and style with very little risk of failure and no added pressure on your wedding day? (Provided you’ve done it all well in advance, of course.)

17. Should I DIY my wedding flowers?

This one can go either way.

If your flowers will be simple bouquets, boutonnieres, and table florals, then it might be fine to DIY them yourself. Fresh blooms from a farmer’s market or even a grocery store can fit the bill nicely.

However, modern wedding trends tend to be far more involved when it comes to flowers. Ceremony arrangements, floral archways, floating flowers, instillations, and takeaway flower stations have become popular. If you plan to use any of these more elaborate floral options, you should hire a pro. It’s not only the degree of expertise that matters here; it’s also the time. Extensive floral arrangements can take hours to assemble, and much of that work has to be done on the day of the event for the flowers to be fresh.

Remember, the cardinal rule is that you don’t want to burden yourself or your loved ones with tasks that draw them away from the celebration.

Pro Tip: If you plan to use simple flower arrangements as part of your table décor, you can save yourself some time and hassle by arranging with your caterer to place them for you. After all, they’ll be throwing your linens and setting your tables anyway.

Photo credit: Angela Howard

18. How much should I ask of friends and family?

Again, it always depends on your individual circumstances and relationships, but here are the questions worth asking yourself before you recruit family and friends to your DIY wedding projects.

• “When will they be performing this task?” It’s one thing to ask for help with a job that will be completed weeks before the wedding. It’s very different to ask for help in the week before—or even on the day of—the event. The closer you get to the wedding day, the more the task will pull them away from sharing in the celebration with you. Helpers should get to celebrate, not feel like unpaid staff. If I could go back and redo my wedding, I wouldn’t ask my family for any time-consuming help on our wedding day. Instead, I would want them to see that their presence was what mattered most to me.
• “How is this request likely to make the person feel?” If your friend or relative asked you to help serve food and clear plates at their wedding, you’d probably say yes, but how would it affect you? Would you feel honored that they would lean on you like that, or would you get the message that they don’t see your relationship as being as close as you had thought? Would it feel like they see your presence as functional, like you’re not really there just to share the celebration with them? The way a similar request would make you feel can be a good gut check indication of how your request is likely to make them feel.
• “How much is reasonable to ask?” What’s reasonable in one person’s mind may be totally unreasonable to someone else. Some friends or family members may resent even small requests, while other people may be genuinely disappointed if too little is asked of them. Respect, honesty, and clear communication are key to figuring out what’s reasonable to ask in each individual case. That said, it’s a general no-no to ask for their professional expertise unless it’s volunteered. Just because your relative is a photographer, chef, or make-up artist by profession, that doesn’t mean it’s fair to expect them to volunteer their services.
• “Is there a cost involved?” Don’t expect them to give money as well as time.
• “Is the task appropriate to their abilities and skills?” Nieces and nephews may be delighted to take gifts, but for how long? Do they have the maturity to do it for more than an hour or two? Certain kids in the family might make adorable ring-bearers or flower girls, but is it something they’d enjoy? Could a certain amount of coaching or support help them succeed at the task? Whatever help you ask for, make sure it’s something they can and want to do.

  

  Final thoughts:

  Here are a few other considerations I tell people if they’re thinking of doing a DIY wedding.

  Plan on something going wrong. If there’s one thing that 40 years of professional catering is taught us, it’s that no matter how perfectly you plan your event, something unexpected will pop up. The key is to (a) be ready for the unexpected, and (b) don’t let it ruin your day. It’s a good idea to have a day-of coordinator or planner whose job at the event is simply to make sure things are going smoothly and be ready to jump in when they don’t. A full-service caterer will always have someone fulfilling that role. For me, it was my mother. (How could the legendary Mary Crafts possibly not be the coordinator at her daughter’s wedding?) You might not want to give that responsibility to a family member, but make sure someone is there to step in when the expectedly unexpected happens.

  Be gracious. When you approach your friends or family about helping you DIY your wedding, give them plenty of time and a legitimate opportunity to say no. Frame it as an opportunity rather than an obligation. “Hey, would you enjoy helping me hand-tie the bouquets the night before?” “We’re having a craft day next Saturday to paint signs and assemble favors; come if you can!” Make people feel included and honored, not put to work. And make sure they feel genuinely appreciated for the help they give. A small gift or personalized Thank You can go a long way.

  Communicate clearly. The most common frustration from family and friends at a DIY wedding is that they would have loved to be useful if they’d just known exactly what the DIYer needed and how they could help. Don’t ask, “Can you help with flowers?” Ask, “Could you pick up twelve bouquets from the market on Saturday morning and deliver them to the venue at 9:00 a.m.?”

  Don’t miss out on your food. So many people tell me that they were so busy at their weddings that they never got to eat their own food. That’s a travesty we never want to allow at Culinary Crafts (which is why we always box up samples of the food to send home with the newlyweds). Whether you have your food catered, make it yourself, or a combination of the two, don’t miss out on the menu you so lovingly planned.

  Make sure everyone feels valued and taken care of. This final tip applies to you as well as each of your guests. Yes, it’s your wedding, and therefore the whole celebration is for you. But, at the same time, it’s not just for you. When you invite people to your party, you become a host, and hosting brings certain responsibilities of hospitality. Most importantly, you need to do what you can to ensure that everyone having fun and making good memories. After all, it’s not the food or flowers that people will remember about your wedding. It’s not the decorations or the dress. What people will always remember is the way you made them feel. Make sure that the people who volunteered to help make your day special aren’t missing the special moments.

  I’ll end with one more special Thank You to the people who helped make my wedding day the best day of my life.

  • Caterer: Culinary Crafts
  • Photographer: Jacque Lynn Photography
  • Florist: Sweetbriar Cove Floral
  • Cakes: Layers
  • Dress: Alta Moda Bridal
  • Suit: Beckett & Robb
  • Rings: Goldsmith Co. Jewelers
  • Trees: Cook’s Farm and Greenhouse